good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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