i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize