why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
