It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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