I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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