i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
