those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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