you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
