maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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