brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
