GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
