We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
