I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
