Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
