What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
