You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
