you're like a bully in the Christmas story
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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