a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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