you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
