Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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