It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
