honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
