I think im going to throw up on grandma
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
