Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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