It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
