I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't put those talents on a resume
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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