I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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