now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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