lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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