every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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