New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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