Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
