please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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