Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
