He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A+ Viking dick
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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