dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
are you so shy because you have an std?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My vagina just recognized that song.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize