so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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