"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
