No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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