Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
