ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
