Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
