I think my vagina is haunted
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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