Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
