There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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