I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
