I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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