i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize