WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
