I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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