Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
