I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
