i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
