Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
