He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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