this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
