i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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