Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Floor bacon is actually really good
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
