Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
