we're chasing vodka with high fives
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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