i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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